So let's talk, really talk about lava. When dealing with lava one must keep three scientific facts foremost in their minds: 1) Lava hates you and wants to see you dead. 2) Lava, all lava, has an IQ over 3000, so it is definitely smarter than you. 3) Lava is hotter than anything you have ever touched in your life... it is in fact, hotter than the sun. Lava has been known to travel in packs so if you see one flow there's a good chance that others are nearby. If faced with lava with no means of escape or if mating season is over and you have shed your antlers your best chance for survival is prayer. Like vampires, lava is notoriously anti-Christian.
3 comments:
Dr. Nusbaum you are a genius... and a moose.
Dr. Nusbaum,
Considering the extensive intelligence of lava, would it be possible to keep it as a pet? With its intense anti-Christian nature, if I covered myself in crosses and pictures of Jesus, could I tentatively approach an abandoned Lavid (the term for a lava baby, as I'm sure you know), and raise him to do tricks and smoke cigars?
It is possible. You would want to take some classes on the proper care of the lavid. These classes are usually quite easy to find, your local Petsmart probably holds them on a regular basis. Just understand that as it grows you will probably have some issues around the house: fires the immolation of unprepared guests, and poop are three that come readily to mind.
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