More than the Teddy Bear Picnic, Alan's Birthday Party is the most terrible gathering of creatures on God's green earth. If one finds themselves at this gathering... beware. Many an innocent has stumbled into the Birthday Party happy and whole and stumbled out ripped up and pregnant. Alan's bacchanals are renowned throughout the animal kingdom as perverse and dangerous with maulings a regular occurrence. The dinosaurs were all killed at one of these shindigs, blown to pieces for a laugh. The dodo bird was locked in an abandoned refrigerator at one and everybody was so trashed they forgot to let it out. Hoffa was a guest of honor, so were Joseph Crater and Ambrose Bierce. So... beware. Also, the cake is made from people.
2 comments:
I wish I had read this before I attended the party. I feel dirty now.
Thank god I wasn't there!
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